Two posts in less than a week. I must be spoiling you all. I know you're all hanging on my every word. No, really.

Things are starting to spool down a little now, I'm counting down the number of shows (I'm only working three more) before the panto ends. The number of weeks before Sioned has the baby is now into single figures. Obviously, this isn't something that's entirely unexpected - it's something that, in many ways, we've been able to prepare for. But the reality is still there, and is going to hit very very soon. I've been reading a book between cues on the show, written by Marcus Berkmann called The Truth About Fatherhood. I'm a pessimistic being, and I suspect that the book - which was given to me as a birthday present by some friends - was perhaps a way to try and alleviate this somewhat. My feelings towards the impending doom, sorry, birth are not those of joy and glee, and the friends that gave me the book are more than aware of this. Really, the book only told me what I was already most afraid of.

First up, my boss in my main line of work is extremely understanding of the way that I work. I work when I want to, as long as the work gets done. Sometimes, I'll be up till 0300 if I'm on a run writing code. I'll go to bed, and roll into the office whenever I get up, and knock off when I get bored. It's a setup which works well for everyone. I fix things when the break - they don't wait for me to get into the office. This works well for me because my sleep is important. I sleep when I'm tired. I hate having my sleep broken. Obviously, these two things aren't going to work well. Sioned says that she'll get up when the baby wakes during the night, but even so - I know that my sleep is going to be disturbed. Put this on the "things I already know" pile.

Next, project work. This is a difficult one. Many projects require an investment of money on my part, which is recouped when I invoice at the end of the job. Also, they require an investment of time and effort on my part. I'm pretty much blocked on every bit here:
o The amount of time I'll be able to put in will be vastly reduced due to having other things to look after (ie a baby)
o The amount of money I'll be able to invest will be vastly reduced as it'll be spent on 60 nappies a week, milk, clothes, whatever else.
o The amount of effort I'll be able to put in will be vastly reduced through lack of sleep.

So, that'll be a significant reduction in income due to loss of project/contract work. I can probably just about deal with that.

Next, house financials. Sioned is fortunate in that she'll be on a relatively decent income for a good few months after having the baby. But even so, this thing is still going to be a pretty hefty drain financially. Apparently, many couples who've already had children are only too pleased to get rid of things that their children don't use any more or have grown out of - clothes and so on. This is obviously extremely generous and serves to reduce on the burden (not only that of finance, but also that of time saved in going out and buying the stuff) on us, but there's also ongoing costs of food and so on.

Toys. My toys. Not just buying them, but concern about what I've already got. The expensive stereo gear under the telly that will no doubt get kicked, or get sticky fingers rubbed all over it. The expensive kitchen gear which will no doubt last mere minutes when subjected to baby. The camera and lenses which will no doubt get picked up and dropped when used as a telescope. The laptop which will get trodden on. The in-ear monitors which will be ripped to pieces. The 1200 quid sofa which is guaranteed to get baby shite and vomit all over it. The humanity.

Next up, there's the becoming-even-more-boring bit. I admit I'm not the most interesting person in the world. When I start working with something new, or get into something new, I fully immerse myself in it. I need to know exactly how it works, why it works, how it's built, and so on. I'm the person that takes things apart to see how it works, then puts it back together again (successfully, 9 times out of 10). So does this mean that I'm going to be boring you all rigid with tales of what the baby is doing, what new things it's doing? I hope to God that I don't. I'm acutely aware of people that already do this and it really does bore me rigid. People ask me why I'm not excited about having a baby. It's not something new - it's something that's been happening since the year dot. It's almost something that's expected. It's something that you're programmed to do. So why the excitement? There's no reason. This is, assuming I still have the mental capacity, why I won't be boring people every day with the fact that he or she is now able to suck their thumb. It's standard development - it's to be expected. Great, so he or she is able to sleep through an entire night without waking up. Fantastic, but does everyone need to know about that? Not really, no. Hopefully I won't become even more boring. Let me know if I do.

So, there we are. That's why it's all going to go horribly wrong, and why I'm being as pessimist as normal about it all. Any questions?